Beautiful Soul,  

Are you wondering why I say that true self care is uncomfortable and gritty?

Do you associate self care with things that are soft and fluffy, baths, crystals and cacao?

I used to, until recently. 

Then I started to realise what true, deep self care was.

Self care isn't just about the things that we do. Its about learning to say no, to let go, to make space, to proactively manage our energy and health. It is caring about ourselves as we do for others.

It is protecting your energy, not doing the things that make you feel heavy, that suck the life out of you, the things that you think you are expected to do, the things that you do out of obligation. 

It is leading yourself through YOUR life, towards the goals, dreams, desires and feelings that you want to aim for.

In short, it is looking after yourself. 

I have spent so much of my life NOT doing this. As a result, I have been severely ill a few times, and ironically ended up being looked after more by those around me. If I had done the work and looked after myself, I would have been well!

Baths, pampering, time out, all so so important and they help to boost our self worth and emotions, but what if we just use them as a fix?

Through my own healing experience, and talking to many people as a holistic therapist, life coach, business mentor and yoga teacher, so many things can be traced back to our self worth. 

Often, because of our self doubt, low self worth, we put others before us, we make sure that everyone else in our household is cared for, we don't even dare to think what we desire, what we want, if we are happy. We are on autopilot, being busy, doing what we think we should do. 

My life changed when I trained to be a life coach. I realised that I was stuck in zones of fear, obligation, sadness, despair and didn't even know what I really thought or how I really felt. (I had never asked myself - I hadn't been taught why this is impotent or how to).

So... I started digging, I started doing the work and it was uncomfortable, I cringed, I kept working on not regretting my life choices, I accepted where I was and got to work. The past was in the past and I wanted to learn from it, not beat myself up about it. 

I took responsibility. I took responsibility for my health, for how I felt. It felt GOOD. 

6 of my top tips for true, deep self worth, you can use them as journal prompts...

1. Discover what you really think and feel are you happy/sad/busy/irritable? When we have awareness, we can move away from what we don't want and towards what we do. 

2. Find what brings you joy, what makes you happy - start to do them. Your mind will start to come up with all the ways you can't - YOU CAN!

3. Think about boundaries, what are you willing to accept, how much time do you need for you, to do the things you love, to look after your body, to have a bath? This might involve talking to those around you - they want to support you. Tell them...

4. Start to lead yourself through your life, look at what you want, your dreams, desires, the things you need to keep healthy in your body, mind, heart and emotions. Make sure you lead yourself. This will inspire everyone around you. 

5. Keep the mantra in your head, what would love do? Would you treat someone you love like you treat yourself? If not, change what you are doing and treat yourself as if you love yourself. You are everything you need - REMEMBER

6. Learn to let go of what doesn't serve you, is there a habit, an obligation, or it could be a person. Remember your boundaries, you have the power and the right to choose what you have in your life, who you see. Or at least protect your energy in these circumstances. 

All change for the brain is uncomfortable, it would rather we stay the same, even if we are not where we want to be. So we need to keep looking, we need to keep reminding ourselves that we matter, we need to reprogram a brain that is used to putting others first. 

We might have to have conversations with those around us, this may bring up feelings of vulnerability, we may worry how others take what we have to say. If you talk from your heart, all about you, not how they make you feel, they will feel you. 

Boundaries - saying no, always hard if it is something we never do. But, life changing when we do. I have covered some of these issues in my podcast SLOW DOWN Live Deeply. In particular episode 10 looks at self care. 

Link to the SLOW DOWN Live Deeply Podcast on Apple

Self Care is also...

Bubble baths, Reading, Exercising, binge watching Netflix, time out, whatever feels luxurious, decadent and brings you joy. It is all of this. 

But... just don't do the bubble baths without the transformative work. 

When we don't look after ourselves, when we don't have any time, support, rest, we can feel irritable, resentful, feel like we are the only ones who do anything, or do it better than anyone else...sound familiar! All signs that some self care is needed. 

When we get all of the above, when our needs are met, we are happier, more fun, full of joy, have more energy and are an amazing role model for those around us. 

Self Care is the opposite of Selfish, when we are happy, balanced, calm, aligned, others around us resonate and it helps them become all that. YOUR energy is infectious, we have the power to impact those around us, without being aware. 

 I would love to know if this resonates, let me know.

And remember ...

You matter...

What you do matters...

How you feel matters ...

Sent with so much love 

Karen xxx

PS: I run a free You are enough challenge and a paid 7 week group coaching program, which is transformational called you are enough, click the YOU ARE ENOUGH image for more info.