Are you open to receiving?

I felt really compelled to discuss this aspect of life that I really struggled with, it’s something I am still working at, but it's become more of a joy, the more I work at it. 

It is the ability to receive compliments and the ability to receive in general, I've realised that I had built up walls around my heart, as traumas happened in my life. And it affected my ability to receive. 

As I was thinking about this, there were a few things that really stuck in my head. One was a family holiday,  in a beautiful harbour,  somebody offered to take a photo of us, for some reason that was in my sub-conscious, I declined.  My husband was perplexed and asked me why I said No, I had no idea!

It was my default, so sad really - don’t accept help, go it alone, you are not worthy of help. I feel tears for that version of me, I was really suffering, no-one really knew, because I didn't really know!

I think about all the times that people tried to give me a compliment, and I would bat it straight off, often saying, oh this, it's  just from Tesco. I know so many of us who have done this. Just not accepting the compliment.

Not saying, yes, thank you, I love them too.

 So now, I catch myself, I know that I am just stuck in a pattern, that it is a program happening in the subconscious. We have our default programming from people around us and it just gets stuck there. We need to have the awareness of them in order to be able to move the energy, move the thought, move the emotion.

It is a very lonely state of being. I have always, and still have the most supportive people around me, but if you don't allow yourself to receive any of that, you feel lonely. You feel unsupported. 

So many feelings, you can have frustration, anger because by choice, you do it all alone. And it's got nothing to do with anybody else. It's all to do with how you handle life. 

 That was how I handled life, I built up a wall, my energetic system was trained,  to not allow any softness, or light in.

So,  I caught myself,  I started to consciously soften.

I challenged myself to say, THANK YOU.  To let people help. This is one of the most challenging things I've ever, ever had to do actually, because the program was so, so strong.

I am still challenging myself to be open, to receiving, to value my time, my wisdom, what I do. 

I still allow myself to give with no expectation, from the heart, this is why I have my podcast, blog  and my community space with free wellness challenges. They are my way of giving.

Then, for my other passions, work and healing that I do, I will charge my worth. I'm a very wise soul. I'm always learning, always training on courses. I invest in myself, my knowledge. 

Everything is going to reflect that now,  because I am open to receiving and I value myself a lot more than I did. When I look back at that soul that was just suffering, it had lost the capacity to receive.

 I have a mantra in my head that I teach my yoga students, when we look at the heart space, if we don't accept some offer of help or compliment or gift that somebody wants to give us, we are denying them the act of giving, and that isn't fair. The heart should be in balance. If the heart is not imbalanced, the energetic system isn't balanced.

So now when I have a compliment, I challenge myself to say two simple words, THANK YOU,  two simple words. This is a challenge to you all as well. I'd love to know how you go. When you find yourself just batting the compliment off, remember two simple words. THANK YOU,  with a beautiful, gentle smile. THANK YOU. It changes everything. 

 Can you imagine if every time you try to give someone a gift or a compliment, they just return it, how would that feel? 

Remember my words in your head, when you start to notice that you are starting to block a compliment,  say to yourself, I'm open. I can receive. And say to the other person, THANK YOU with a smile.

 In the podcast, I share a meditation to help you be open to receiving more. You can access it via this link. 

Don't let loneliness be a self-imposed state of being. 

Sending love Karen