Beautiful Soul, 

This blog is to go along with Episode 13 of the SLOW DOWN Live Deeply Podcast. I will be writing more in a further blog about this subject. 

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST 

I felt called to talk about how I went from a warrior woman who was so closed off, to softening, letting the love in and out because of boundaries. In the next blog, I will carry the themes discussed in the podcast on with looking at what bravery is. 

 "A true warrior is strong enough to be vulnerable."

I see souls everywhere in the same situation that I was in, so, so defensive, because to feel, seems like it would be too painful. I believe that the anticipation of the feelings are always worse than actually sitting in that feeling yourself. 

I had such strong boundaries that served me so well to get through the cancer treatments, I just needed to keep going, and be STRONG for my friends and family as everytime I lost it, they did and that hurt too seeing them suffering! I wanted my treatment and the fact that I had cancer to have as little effect on my kids possible, I believe that I achieved this. So my boundaries served the purpose, but that changed.

Life changes, everything changes.  

These amazing  boundaries that I had constructed were so strong that they didn’t let anything in or out. 

My boundaries kept fear in and stopped joy, spontaneity and unconditional love from coming in. 

So…I learnt how to soften, I learnt that everyone around me could not read my mind, they didn’t know how much I was suffering, and because I didn’t say, they couldn’t help. 

Because I kept everything to myself I felt more and more isolated and misunderstood. This was all in my mind and all self generated. 

What is softening?

For me, it is starting to chip away at the boundaries I had made, by starting to recognise how I  really felt, by starting to let everyone know, by acknowledging that I was emotionally  exhausted, I was worn out. I realised  that I didn't need advice, or a pep talk, I couldn't bear to be told how strong I was. I just wanted to be held. I  just want it to be acknowledged that I had just been through a pretty shitty time. 

I started to tentatively get to know myself again, to get to know who I am now, I started journalling, I did some work with Danielle La Porte’s Desire Map and I trained to be a life coach using her amazing system. 

Who am I now? What do I believe now? What do I want? What am I feeling? How do I want to feel?

This is the work of self awareness, to see how you are feeling, to not deny it, and to sit with these feelings, to acknowledge them. 

Then you decide what you are going to do with them, do you stay with that emotion in the past or do you let the feelings be felt and let them pass. This can be so uncomfortable but so healing. 

The e-motions, which are thoughts and energy in motion, need flow, they don’t like stagnation this isn’t healthy for the mind or the body. Crying is bravery - let your feelings flow. 

I will share with you what I did along with journaling to remember who I was, to find my self worth, which was buried under so many intense and not so pleasant memories and thought patterns. 

I started to sit with myself in my yin practise, it was exceedingly uncomfortable and snotty, lots and lots of tears. 

I also started to use essential oils intentionally and consistently.  I love teaching my community how to do this to learn to manage their emotions. It is possible. It is as simple as a choice you make moment by moment. We can choose to move away from a feeling we don’t want to hang in, or we can choose how we want to feel and start to move towards that. 

I love teaching yoga, but especially YIN YOGA, because it is one of the most healing things I've ever done for myself. It has helped me on such a deep profound level. It's my passion along with oils and meditation.

Questions for reflection: 

Are you are ready to sit with yourself?

Are you ready to increase your self worth?

Are you ready to heal?

If you fancy giving it a go, I teach online every Thursday  (click in the yoga image in the sidebar), and you can learn more about essential oils.

Thank you to all of you who are supporting the Podcast and who message me back, I would do all this anyway as it feels like a calling, but to hear that it is helping, well it means the World. 

Thank you.

Sending Love 

Karen xxx